I haven’t written anything here for some time. And it’s for a good reason. In March, something personal hit me sideways. It was not really a surprise, but still there was the process of getting over it. In summary, I’m getting divorced and I separated immediately in March. I’ve reflected, I’m over it and I’m moving on, although the process is still ongoing of course.

Sunrise

I’ve been on and off the diet since then, but the lack of discipline has been terrible. I usually write a journal every morning. I haven’t been doing this. I usually read books and study. Since March, I haven’t been doing very much at all. Things improved considerably across June and July. I threw two parties and reconnected with old friends. Into August I felt relatively normal again. I had a great 50th birthday celebration.

In July I went to the gym again and felt lost. So decided to engage the services of a personal trainer. I picked Gary because he is a competitive body builder, he’s my age and understands what he is doing. He has his own magazine. Also, I haven’t got time to mess around. I’m 50 and I need to get on with it.

We are making big progress fast and I’m hoping to see improved tone by the end of the year. I’m doing two sessions with the trainer a week: one legs and one upper body. I intend to do a third session.

But despite this, I woke up on Monday feeling out of sync. So, I’ve decided to put the discipline back in and get back to writing this blog.

I’m roughly 83kg. I want to swap out fat (about 20% of me…) with muscle or reduce my weight below 80kg. I’m not bothered about the weight, more about reducing the fat and getting better definition.

Most days my diet is pretty good. I’m eating two meals a day - protein and vegetables as you would expect. But I’m also eating porridge for the meal I have before I train. And it makes a big difference to the outcome of the training. I take Saturdays off and cheat as usual.

My Achilles heel is alcohol, specifically wine. I’m drinking regularly. I don’t abuse it - in fact having a glass of wine is part of who I am. But I need to think seriously about reining it in. The only way I will get the definition I’m after is if I go hard-core on the diet.

That said, the discipline will be useful. I’ve setup a company with three friends (I will be able to talk more about this soon) to produce a film, a play and a musical. I’m working on a new podcast for Tezos and potentially another on Internet Security. I’m learning the bass guitar and French. I need discipline to see me through all this.

The only way is to start again. Take a blank sheet and get going. Will you do the same?